The day after my last blog post, I had surgery on both feet. If you want to see pics, check my Instagram Account - @Mrsedavis99. Suffice to say, it's been a long month. Here's an example of what has gone on, since then. I had surgery, less than a week later, our house sold. They called want to close before the end of the month because she's pregnant, and we agreed. Then, we had no choice (because of my recovery) but to check out a few rentals and choose one so we could make this all happen. We had no time to look for a place to buy. Did I mention the rental is half the size, and I am in surgical boots?
In the past three weeks, I have made lists, packed, given things away, tossed things out, canceled this, scheduled that... and managed to keep my sanity. But I'm gonna tell you a little story.
By the morning of July 8th as I sat on the recliner downstairs crying and screaming at God in my head, on strong meds, unable to do for my family, worried about my son, my family, if we would find a place to live... angry with the past ten months, the death of my father, the three surgeries, deaths of friends, never having a mother in my life, just whatever I could muster up to be crazed about..... not having slept in a week, worrying about so much and not wanting to burden others.... I was a crumpled mess.... watching a show about the ocean and whale sharks...
It all started because - I have an issue with my student loan, and I have not worked in 12 years. The rental applications are all online, very impersonal and I was convinced we would not get a place. Seriously irrational mess.
What you may not know is, I have PTSD from the abuse I suffered as a child. And though I am mostly very rational and helpful and nice, on the rare occasions that I spiral - it is NOT pretty. But let me tell you about our Lord.
I'm now upstairs that same day and a friend texted... and I answered in a somewhat ranting text... and she came to my home, came up the stairs (I had no idea she was coming) and gave me the biggest hug... and as I cried, she said she understood. She understood. And she basically told my husband we were going for a ride. We drove around for a while, talking, and also chatting with her sweet baby girl... and I felt better. Not so alone. It was the LIGHT I needed.
Ok - it helps that I finally picked up Who Does He Say You Are? by Colleen Mitchell and read the intro and cried and just realized how close God really is. But it goes on.
The next morning, I was reading the Magnifcat before Mass, and this is what I saw. I put this up on Instagram.
I went to Mass that day with my family, with two orthopedic boots on my feet, and wept the whole Mass. I listened to the Priest talk about how we are yoked to Jesus and one-another and that we all share a part in one another's burdens.
I felt so ashamed for a moment that I had doubted him more. But I think everyone who has been through so very much has at least one of those moments in their lives.. and they fight off the negative thoughts and God reaches his hand out and pulls them out of the darkness and back into His light.
So while I am in the throws of packing up my house of 11 years and struggling with my lack of being a great mom and wife because of my legs, I can tell you that God has never left me. Friends have come to help pack. Friends have come to bring meals. Friends have agreed to take our things that we can't fit or helped us find people in need. God changed my heart that day. And I have a lot to say about it, and will over time.
So today, is the monthly CWBN Blog Hop. It's hosted by Allison Gingras @Reconciled to You. The link is here: CWBN Blog Hop. This month's blog hop is called, "What I am Doing Now In The Hope of Keeping My Kids Catholic". I did not know until today that the average age people leave the Church is 13. WOW... it's really astonishing.
My son saw me in a heap y'all. And it opened up the best chance for me to talk to him about God's love in bad times... and we were up several nights in a row talking about positive affirmations and how we can make this move fun. He has ASD (Aspergers) and he has lived here the majority of his life. He doesn't want to go to a smaller home or get rid of things... even if he hasn't touched them in ten years. LOL He just knows the comfort of this home.
It's been such a great couple weeks of really re-engaging in Religious Ed in a familial way, because I was at the brink of giving up on God. I felt I'd been through enough. My husband and child knew it and they witnessed the bounce-back. And we have all talked and prayed about growth and purpose and just so many things.
I could list a million things you should do, in order to make sure your children stay in our Faith. I could tell you to read books, and to go to Mass, and to have family devotions, the Rosary and so many other things - and I mean them all! Do them all! Find ways to NOT make it a task, but a loving and beautiful part of your days.
But my family's favorite thing to do is learn about the Saints. I would encourage you all to teach your children about the Saints, the real-life people who lived through good and very bad... and who gave their lives for the Lord and for His people. Just about everything you have been through, a Saint has been there before. And there is nothing like a child having a tangible example.
Also - teaching about the Saints is also the same as teaching History. And if we don't know History, we make mistakes. Right? As a people, as a country, as a world, the direction we are heading in is scary. Gender fluidity? WHAT! Things like that are so scary and our children are going to be exposed to them. Right? We need to make sure they know how to answer others, how to love others in spite of their sins, and how to carry themselves in a way that will honor God, in this, our scary world.
Love them and do what you ask of them, in our Faith. And when they see you in a heap, tell them the story of God's love. Help them not be bitter. Help them understand they aren't perfect and that no one is... AND that God knows we can't be because we are human. Keep them away from the kinds of Catholics who will say things like, "if you don't do ___ you aren't Catholic enough". Help them understand that God is forgiving, and they must always seek Him, through his beautiful and loving Mother.
Teach them great manners and help them live virtuously. Teach them that life doesn't revolve around them and will be hard. Help them learn to love to do things for others. Apologize when you are wrong. Bring God into every situation. But mostly - you tell them no matter what they do, God loves them, and you do too. They can always find a way back from any heap of mess they find themselves in.
One last thing - in every bad situation, find a hero for them to hold onto. Find the helpers. I believe Mr. Rogers said something like that. In our Faith, we have so many real-life Heroes. Here is one of my favorite saint quotes, and currently my FaceBook Cover Pic:
|Owner of the pic is on the pic.|
Please go to the other blogs. I know their posts will be filled with great ways they hope to keep their children Catholic. These women are fantastic and beyond talented. They are so strong and they don't know it, but I have relied on their words so much, of late.
I pray if you are having a bad time you will share with me or someone and let us pray for you.
I also pray that some of this made sense to you. I was not planning on participating this month, but God had other plans.
Humbling and lovingly, I wish you the peace of knowing GOD IS ALWAYS WITH YOU!
p.s. - the next two weeks are moving into rental, cleaning up our current home and closing on our house. The 31st I go back to the Podiatrist and hope to get cleared to walk without orthopedic shoes. If you don't mind joining that prayer, I would so appreciate it.