Thursday, April 14, 2016

Small Success Thursday.... It's About Time...



Yep, it's a Thursday.
What have I done this week?

Marque left early Monday to head to San Antonio for a Homeland Security Conference. He got to play golf, go to dinner with friends, and last night attended an awards banquet at our beloved Alamo.... and me, I schooled the child. Well, not Monday so much... because he was worse this week than last (bronchitis and sinus infection) and then we got more meds...

Yesterday, I woke up and had an epiphany... First of all, some time in the middle of the night, my child snuck into Marque's side of the bed. So, when I moved, in the middle of the night, it slightly freaked me out (in my unconscious sleepy state) to find a head in my bed. LOL During my time with the Lord, it came to me - this child is taking advantage of me, and I'm letting him.

So, I woke him up, and after his morning routine, I said, "we need to talk"... and broke it down for him.  Something like this...

You will sleep in your own bed.
You will put more effort into school and come to school ON TIME (or be back at public school by next year - YES I SAID IT!).
And then I told him, this is my fault. I've let you do this.

In my defense...

Being alone with him so much, I just am sick of arguing.  If your child has Aspergers, you know the arguing....

Any given conversation goes like this. You innocently say, "Beautiful weather we are having today." And your child says, "well actually the weatherman said we have a 50% chance of rain, but I don't really think it will reach us because the atmospheric...."  And you perpetually look like this:


.... because you just want to be right one time.  You just want a simple response... not a dissertation. You want to say, "what a beautiful blue sky" without hearing, "actually the color is ___".  You live in a world where there is a mini cruise director all day long and you say things like "don't micromanage me" "stop telling me what to do"... AND when the child sees you roll your eyes or if you let out air, in exasperation, then you get quizzed about what is wrong... it's just CONSTANT!

Sigh. And so - in my defense, I have no good defense. This is the child I am meant to raise. I have once again let the smart, naturally manipulative (not all his fault, it's genetic) child - walk all over me. Sigh.  And he is not a bad child. We are just learning this together. You know?

I lost the reigns, but I have taken them back God has instructed me and shown me how to take them back.  It is MY responsibility to raise this child. No matter what is going on in my life... whether I struggle with anxiety and depression... whatever it is, I must put it said and raise this child to be a man of God.

I haven't been sleeping. And yesterday about 12:30pm, my body gave out. I was dizzy... I felt so extremely anxious... I slept till about 3pm, on and off. And my child, this blessing on earth that I begged God for at 40...

He did three Math Lessons, two Science Lessons and a few English Lessons while taking my temperature and asking me if I was ok a few dozen times....  TADA!!! He's a good boy. He really is - And this is a HUGE success - not mine, but Our Lords!  On a bad day with my child, the Lord always shows me I need to calm down and see the good. I need to trust HIM!

It's about time I am a confident parent... knowing God is leading me. I hope and pray this post has made you smile and helped you in some way.

Oh... and to be clear, I am happy that my husband has a job. I just wish he was home more. My favorite is when he complains about the travel and I remind him that he goes to the bathroom without interruption. HAHA

Happy Small Success Thursday All!
Go check out all the posts at CatholicMom.com for Small Success Thursday!  Such great and uplifting posts.

Hugs & Blessings,
Em

10 comments:

  1. Hugs. God hasn't just given you this child, God TRUSTS you with this child as He only trusts one other. But it's hard. They are our lightest crosses, these people we raise, but they are crosses, make no mistake. Thanks for being part of SST!

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    1. Thank you for putting it that way. It is a cross. One I gladly carry. But a cross. Sigh. You are a dear!
      <3

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  2. Oh boy...he sounds like a joy and a challenge all rolled into one.
    My son with diabetes--I know we enable him sometimes. Like today, he was late to school. It was hard to wake him up after he'd been woken several times overnight for juice and fingersticks. And some days, his sugar is wacky and he doesn't feel well (of course he doesn't--his sugar is wacky!) It's that constant balancing act.
    My balancing act is different from yours but we are still balancing all those things. Thanks for participating and prayers are with you!

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    1. Oh yes, he is... so much of both.
      We are acrobats, dear Barb! So thankful to be in this together...

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  3. LOL, I have a (now grown) very ADHD son. My other is rather detail oriented and an exact mind, so I had to laugh at your description. I am sure I only hear a fraction of what you do as they do it to tease me. Hang in there. Sometimes I have to tell myself that God knows what he is doing.

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    1. LOL Yes, I do have to remind myself too. <3
      Thank you Maggie.

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  4. Wow, love this kid of yours...... He's awesome. Your humor and honesty, Em? the best. A great read...thank you SO much for sharing.

    So happy to be walking this crazy journey of motherhood with you my friend. The only drawback is the not-in-person part!
    xoxoxox
    Hugs

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    1. He is a good kid... sigh. We really are blessed.
      We'd be more blessed to live nearer...

      Hugs,
      Em

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    2. and I SO agree!!!!

      Wish those few hundred miles/ thousand miles were not between you guys and us!!

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  5. Hey
    By some fate or internet quirk I got this in my inbox this AM again...how weird is that? Read it and loved it....again.

    Mainly bc of your candor, but what I noticed this time around is this........Now my kids do not have asperger's and I'll tell ya, it's the same. you know, those same arguments, struggles...good grief. Just let it GO guys......I hear ya....

    ..and I don't mean that In. Any. Way. to minimize your parental challenges as a mom of a kid with asperger's...not at all...just the opposite. YOU are doing an amazing job Momma! You're parenting him and holding him to a standard as if he can handle it....HIM....with or without a "diagnosis..." you know what I mean? That takes courage and guts. I give you tons of credit to be able to do that whether he's got a diagnosis of anything or nothing! ....and BTW I know that's NOT why you shared this...to get that "credit" from readers/ friends. But I have to tell you what I see and how wowed I am as a mom of a non Asperger's kid in how your son just IS and how you parent..... I;ve learned a lot from you lady.

    I hope all is well my friend....."see" ya soon
    xoxoxo

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Thank you for leaving a message. I love hearing your thoughts. You are a blessing to me.
Em